the lonely feeling of long bus rides, I’m uprooted. I didn’t think I made a home here, but it happened slowly, and now I realize I’ll miss these things - my window and parking lot view, huge castle cluster of students, walking over the gorge on the way to class. I tried hard to adapt to this life after coming back from different places, and now I’m so comfy and fond of it. Now its time to flow back into the mode of independence and feeling myself, apart. I guess I like college. :)
I love to listen to this song while studying. It gets me in a groove and isn’t too distracting. This whole album is pretty spectacular! If I go back to review the other songs in this album that I could have selected, I’ll spend too much time.
Manitoba - James’ Second Haircut, from Start Breaking My Heart.
a photo of the ocean off Tanzana on the east coast of Africa
(via creatingaquietmind)
Monongaheeeela!
Had an enjoyable time at Dolly Sods Wilderness, West Virginia with Jacques.
Coming back to the car and looking at myself in the mirror was cool - I felt so clear and present, like, really behind my eyes. Sometimes when I look at myself there’s a thin blanket of thoughts/worries/complications that obscures that presence. The drive back was fantastic - hard to imagine living where these people do - at the foot or ridge of beautiful green mountains, so wide and encompassing.
I felt a tad bitchy for parts of this trip, just annoyed by Jacques and tired of hearing whatever he was talking about. Maybe partly due to PMS? The desire for being in silence comes up more and more, especially in places like where we were. I just want…nothing. Beautiful silence…listening to the forest and the sky…feeling…
Some favorite moments:
sitting on the white rock at sunset in a mountain meadow. the next day, we hiked away from this area to the next hill. looking back at the outcropping, it looked so ancient.
night thunderstorm. aka the rapture. we laid in the tent during a light rain. I noticed that there was a slight flickering light through the roof of the tent. we looked outside to see that the east side of the sky was flickering white! we couldn’t see lightning or hear thunder, but beyond the mountains half the sky lit up slightly every few seconds into flashes of white - the rapture!
bathing and washing clothes in the red creek. cold! but fun.
meeting fellow travelers and all their good advice.
all the “whooooooa”s and “so pretty!”s and occasional “holy shit what the fuck!!!” that the landscape inspired :)
today
I talked to someone (who I wish I could call a friend, but it actually only an aquaintance, even tho we live in the same building) about writing. How I don’t often write, but after I do, it always feels pretty good. He asked why I don’t write, and I figured out that I don’t write because I feel like what I write has to .be something. Entertaining, eloquent… better word choice or flow. But it doesn’t really matter! I’m going to write more. A good idea: keep writing, continuously, without the pen leaving the page, and when you run out of immediate thought, just fill it in with ands or blahs and fall into the flow of your thoughts going onto the paper. Sounds cool :)
and more. I really love this soft silicone texture against the conifer needles, and the plants as found treasures, cared for within their sacks.
